Attempting Professionalism

With the end of my Peace Corps service in sight I've started thinking about the best way to explain the last two years on my resume. Here's what I came up with so far...


U.S. Peace Corps 2010-2012                                                                  Varna, Bulgaria


Unlicensed Medical Practitioner:

• Successfully treated 2 cases of food poisoning,  1 sprained ankle, 1 sinus infection and numerous airborne viruses, equipped with nothing more than a briefcase full of expired medical supplies. 
• 0% mortality rate.

Freelance Translator:

• Fluent in Bulglish. A contemporary, hybrid language popular in the International Education System.
• Adept at improvising when the conversation gets complex.

Director: "What did she just say?"
Me: "Ummmm...she has a pet monkey...called Oscar...and she likes your shoes...yup, that's exactly it"


Survival Expert:

• Specialized in winter survival. 
• Endured extensive exposure to sub-zero temperatures with nothing more than a Baba blanket for warmth.
• Experienced wolf-slayer. 
• Competent in utilizing every aspect of an animal carcass for sustenance, including brain, liver, heart, intestine, tongue, testicles.